Page 523 - NUAFC EBook

goalkeeper Sean Crowe would have given his right arm the magic in his eyes. Next to his eyes, Bugsy claims his
to have Steve removed from! most redeeming feature are his elbows and his ability to pull
His rise to infamy began in the club's Waikato 2nd off bike shorts in any social situation.
Division side with a brief stopover in the Reserves before Bugsy’s heroes include Tozer’s Pink polka-dot
notching a place in the Northern League team. His stubbies of 1994, Clouty’s numerous thigh braces and, of
brief stay in the reserved caused a sudden rash of ulcers course, his own physiotherapist, who he credits for his
by Sandy MacDonald in goal and Steve was forced to move longevity.
on!
Bugsy has recently retired his dream of being a
He was a powerful defender and exceptionally professional footballer citing cultural differences with
strong in the air (often cured by air freshener) and followed current coaching staff; however, official sources claim that
in the footsteps of Yogi Bear (having the figure to match). difficulties arose during contract negotiations with his
Steve loves his football and each year was the top negotiation team adamant of the inclusion of the
scorer for the opposition. “permission slip” clause.
It has only lately been revealed that Steve's transfer A powerful midfielder in his youth, his lunging
fee from the English Football Association was two stale style of play earned him a level of notoriety both on and off
pies. Initially he turned down the offer but, when the football pitch. His unique talents even saw him compete
Maxine was thrown in for free, Steve conditionally in the professional wrestling finals at the Petersham Hotel
accepted - Maxine had to leave her voice behind! Competition of 1987, where he finished a reputable runner

up to the legendary Miss Lucy Brown, Waikato Regional
champion 1984-1996.
BILLY EMMENS Bugsy has fulfilled his 2018 new year’s resolution
1981-83 to move out of home. He currently resides in his shed,
Affectionately known as Old Man or Mouthguard was complete with bar and near brand new gym facilities. He is
born in Naenae down by the windy city where you hang out aiming for at least 10 minutes to prove his worth during the
your washing with return addresses stapled to the garments. jubilee celebratory match.
He has played soccer since he was six and highlighted
his career with the Burnham army side scoring 76 goals in one
season against the Blind Institute (and his team still lost the ANDY “ROO” BELL
championship). 1975-78, 1985-2018
On joining the Green Machine in 1982 he found his Andy “Roo” Bell is a former dux of the Bell
reputation had preceded him and he was accordingly put in Institute of Technology and Craftmanship, having advanced
defence. As an ordinance worker he specialised in bomb in the areas of field maintenance and sound engineering.
disposal, waste disposal and permanent latrine duty. Having been born into a family of 7 boys, Roo had to fight
tooth and nail to stake 5 minutes of toilet time. This daily
struggle helped Roo develop a sinewy strength and speed
POSSUM that he transferred to his favourite wing back position at an
The exact origins of this loyal supporter are a early age.
Touted as an emerging talent in the early days of

mystery. While the first recorded encounter with Possum
dates back to when the 6pm curfew was first abolished, the Templeton School of Footballing Excellence, Roo was
quickly seconded to the senior squad. He has since gone on
predating of his hat reveal that this elusive creature was first
discovered sleeping amongst the trapped tumble weeds in to become an irreplaceable club member, having produced
the roof rafters upon the establishment of the upstairs over 250 first team appearances. The most of any player in
the club’s 50-year history and an estimated 2000 club
members lounge.
Formerly a representative of the Newcastle appearances!
When asked what he remembers most about his

development program, Possum maintains that his football time in the first team shirt, Roo (with tears in his eyes)
knowledge stems from the extensive board sessions held
between himself, Coulshed and Terry in the corner of the recalled first playing alongside his nephew Ryan, who he
confesses is his inspiration and the reason he still laces up
club. Unfortunately, the dim lighting led to many strategies his boots. He also proudly boasts having played a
being specifically developed for night fixtures.
While an ever-present proponent of keeping the significant role in the creative process for inventing the
novelty adult sized pacifier.
bartender honest, Possum has invested heavily in the future When not lamenting the lost wages consumed over
of the club, including being an avid sponsor of
Ngaruawahia’s Premier Women’s team. the bar, Roo can frequently be seen tinkering with the sound
system, building radio’s out of coconuts, fighting with Liz
His continued support and electric dance moves are over the song selection and providing back-up vocals and
a key feature of any club night. He is currently the key
advocate for bringing uber to Ngara, enriching his own percussion for the Bell Boys.

This life member has made himself indispensable to
100m journey from the bar to his front doorstep. the club and therefore he will never be permitted to retire
from his groundsman duties.
BRIAN “BUGSY” HARDING
1975-77, 1981, 1985-94, 1997, 2000, 2015
The original Maoridonna began plying his football CRAIG “PUTU” PATERSON
trade under the scrupulous eye of Joe Templeton if only to 1986-93, 1999-2006, 2015-18
th
pass 4 form English. Originally, a superstar of the Putu, spelt P, U, T, U, is the irreplaceable
Ngaruawahia synchronised swimming all male trio and gentleman of the bygone game. A lover of politics,
Championship diving team, a career ending injury forced philosophy, religion and art, this creative thinker often
him to adopt the green and white claiming that it enhanced allowed for his prestigious mind to give some thought to
horticulture and plant cultivation, and often ritualistic

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