Page 521 - NUAFC EBook
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1969.  Northern  League  with  Claudelands  Rovers  from       He  has  played  for  Melville  and  has  attended
      1966  to  1974  came  along  with  a  stint  in  the  NZ   Canterbury  University,  gaining  a  degree  in
      International  Tournament  squad  in  '69  at  the      something  or  other.  He  then  played  one  season  for
      Merderka  Tournament  (luckily  Mike  caught  laryngitis   Huntly and became an original member of the Green
      and had to stay home!).                                 Machine when it was just a Dinky Toy. He has played
             He  played  around  with  AFFCo  Rangers         at all levels and, as he does not have a left foot, he has spent
      for  four  years  before  arriving  at  Narra  on  a  Lend/  most of his playing days at left fullback.
      Lease  arrangement  -  AFFCo  lent  him,  Narra                There  was  a  time  when  he  was  moved into
      leashed him!                                            the strikers role. He had a point-blank shot at goal from
             Mike compliments his soccer with  other sports   2 meters out and creamed the corner flag.
      such  as  cricket,  golf,  snooker  and  darts  with  equal
      skills. He kicks over the cricket stumps, strikes the golf
      ball with the outside of his foot, can't get the ball into any
      of  the  pockets  in  snooker,  and  needs  a  long  run-up  in                1982-84
      darts!                                                         Known  affectionately  as  Old  Knobbly  Knees  Jim
             An electrician by trade he did a lot of work on the   was  born  in  the  Emerald  Isles  in  a  hitherto  unknown
      clubrooms. His legacy is still  with  us.  When  we  open   village  called Limerick. Once this became  known Glen
      the  fridge  door  the  stove  turns  on  or  the  club  alarm   Gray made up a poem ..
      goes off when the telephone is answered..                      There was a young fellow called Jim
             He  is  a  two-footed  player  (both  of  them  the      Whose legs were uncommonly thin.
      wrong ones) and was often seen clearing the tops of the
      pines when shooting at the southern goal.                      Now, one shouldn't sneeze
                                                                     At his knobbly knees
                                                                     Cause the fault doesn't ly just with him!
                                                                     He  played  his  early  football  in  England  at
                                                              Elsmere  Port  before  travelling  to  NZ  as  the
                           1977, 1982-83                      principal  ballerina for the Bolshoi ballet. He  kept goal
             Known  as  Snapper,  Fish-head  and  The  Flying   for Hamilton and Courier Rangers before joining Narra in
      Ferret  Keith  didn't  kick  a  ball  seriously  until  he  was  15   1982.
      having been a rugby adherent.
             Playing  for  Ngaruawahia  High  School  he      He  was  a  plasterer  by  trade  and  was  called  upon  to
                                                              contract for work on McSporran's (John McDermid's)
      top scored with 37 goals from  9  matches followed the   jaw. It can be revealed that the author James Barrie used Jim
      next year with 16 goals in the Waikato 2nd Division. Known   upon which to model his Peter Pan character.
      for his electrifying speed he was often approached to be the
      hare at greyhound meetings.                                    Jim  met  Bernadette  at  the  Waikato  Hospital
             With  a  desire  to  succeed  Keith  trained  four   following  a  double  knees  operation  which  left  a
                                                              permanent smile on each patella.
      nights a week, twice with the  seniors  and  twice  with
      the women's side. He supplemented his training by trying       The operations were a success and it was not long
      to  date  Dave  Hall's  daughter  and  had  to  spend  the  early   before  Jim  was  giving  flying  lessons  between  uprights
      parts of his visits dodging bricks thrown by Dave!      on  the  AFFCo  soccer  pitch  on  Tuesdays  and  Thursdays
                                                              while trying to pick off the back passes from Steve

                                                              Williams and John Mohn.

                             1972-85
             Mike  played  League  at  Glen  Afton  until
      becoming  13  then  changed  to  soccer  under  Paddy                     JOHN  STEWART
      Murphy  at  Huntly.  At  16  he  reverted  for  two  years                     1981-84
      back  to  League  and  then  signed  on  for  the  AFFCo       Defender of the  Faithless John started  his  career
      Rangers  2nd  Division side. During these formative years   with  East  Coast  Bays  moving  from  Juniors  to  Seniors
      he was in the Waikato Reps with Les Vuletich.           faster than it takes to break a leg.
             He was nicknamed Sunshine by Dave Hall  (who            An  electrical  supervisor  by  trade  he  travelled
      called  e ver ybod y  Sunshine!) and was known to be    extensively overseas and played in Libya where he was
      a regular battler. He had more lumps on his legs that a   made  an  honorary  Sheik,  presented  with  a  caravan  of
      poor liposuction patient and had a neon-light beard (off  camels and a harem of goats.
      -on-off-on).  He  claimed  he learned all his skills from      He  moved on to  Northern  Ireland  where he put
      the Beano and the Dandy comics especially  from  the    his  skills  to  use  dodging  grenades  from  the  IRA  and
      character  desperate  Dan.  Mike  had  a  powerful  shot  in   plastic bullets from the army. He used this ability when
      both  feet  (but  not  at  the  same  time)  and  loved  breaking   playing for Huntly Thistle against Narra between 1976
      crossbars, nets and keepers' fingers.                   and 1980.
                                                                     He moved to Narra for the transfer fee of a bag
                             1969-93                          of nutty slack where he immediately commenced a series
             Bertie  (obviously)  was  born  in  Upper  Hutt  but  as   of enviable self-destruct activities,  breaking  various
      his parents loved in the Lower one they sent his food up   legs three times and various  knees five times.  It came to
      to him on a rope.                                       the time  where  Narra had a  vet  standing by during
                                                              games in case John needed putting down!
             Bertie  has  played  for  many  teams,  not  always
      successfully.  He  spent  some  time  in  Fiji  with  his
      father  where  he  used to dribble  coconuts  amongst the
      tree.  He  tried  heading  one  once,  that's  why  he  now
      wears glasses!


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